Avengers: Infinity War is here, and it’s not the colossal clusterfuck that cramming about thirty characters into one movie seemed like it would be. But it also feels less like a movie, and more like a collection of scenes designed to make fans go “Woo!” and “Whoa!” and “No freaking way, Red Skull!” (Someone sitting behind me at my screening also shouted “Get off your phone!” but that may have been a more individual response based on specific circumstances. And no, it wasn’t me who was on my phone. How dare you even think that!)
As someone who wrote her master’s thesis on Captain America media and has a dog named Bucky, it’s safe to say I’ve drunk the Marvel Kool-Aid. Thusly, I enjoyed the experience, but again, it really is more of an experience than a film driven by a strong narrative. But more important than thoughts of the movie’s quality are the death predictions I made. Let’s see how accurate my baseless, unresearched speculation was.
First off, MAJOR SPOILERS here so turn back if you don’t want to read ‘em. Second, I think it’s fair to say that the heroes who got snapped out of existence at the end aren’t dead. (See, I wasn’t kidding about the spoilers.) I mean, is Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 going to be subtitled Rocket and Nebula’s Big Adventure? When Chris Evans vacates the MCU, is there going to be no Captain America figure because Falcon and Bucky are both gone? Is the Spider-Man: Homecoming sequel a cruel joke? And without T’Challa, will Black Panther 2 just be Wakanda trying to operate within a political vacuum? Pretty much everyone I deemed safe became dust in the wind in the movie’s final moments, and I’m not buying it. It’s also suspect that no one from phase one of the MCU (with the exception of Bucky) got erased. Seems like Marvel might be giving its OG heroes one last time to shine (and Rocket because raccoons … sorry, I mean rabbits). So I’m not counting Bucky, Falcon, Drax, Groot, Mantis, Scarlet Witch, Star Lord, Dr. Strange and Black Panther (I guess you can throw Maria Hill and Nick Fury in there for good measure) among the deceased. Like I said, there’s no way they’re all staying disintegrated.
With that said, there were some things I did get wrong.
- Tony and Cap both survived! I figured one of them would bite the dust for maximum fan feels and to give the other motivation in the next movie since they never reconciled after their Civil War beef. But no, Tony is going to be wallowing in guilt over Dr. Strange saving him at the cost of an Infinity Stone and for allowing Peter Parker to go to his apparent death. (“Mr. Stark, I don’t want to go.” Jesus kid, twist the knife a little more why dontcha?) And I guess Steve is mourning Bucky again for like the fifth time, now with the addition of Sam, Wanda and his new best friend Groot. (Thor may think he made friends with a tree, but Groot and Steve clearly bonded with that heartfelt introduction.)
- I mixed up which daughter of Thanos would make it out of Infinity War. Thanos killed Gamora, and Nebula survived. I’m not sure how I felt about the Gamora and Thanos stuff. It was nice for Gamora to have more to do, and I generally liked Thanos and how they tried to give his character a little more nuance than just megalomaniacal, space tyrant. But it felt a little rushed, and it would have been nice if Gamora’s inner conflict of both hating Thanos and caring for him as a father-figure was better established. Also, she gave up the location of the Soul Stone kinda quickly. I feel Nebula’s endured worse than whatever torture Thanos was doling out, and Gamora had previously been ready to die to protect the location of the stone. I know she and Nebula bonded in Guardians 2 and all, but come on.
- Hawkeye isn’t even in the thing! I’ll admit that this wasn’t a surprise by the time I went to see the movie. I had already heard that he, Ant-Man and a few others were MIA. But still, when I was making predictions, I fully expected Jeremy Renner to be there with his dumb purple Oakley’s on.
But enough about my failures; let’s talk about my brilliant successes.
- Loki died trying to double cross Thanos. I was maybe expecting it to take a little longer, but still, the thing I said was mostly likely to happen done did happen.
- Heimdall also died in the attack on the Asgardian ship. (As did, I guess, every other Asgardian, or maybe they only killed half the Asgardians. It was never really clear, but they did destroy the ship so they can’t have survived, right? Although, Thor did survive floating in space until the Guardians picked him up. Can Asgardians survive just floating unprotected in space?) Oh Idris Elba, you never had much to do in these movies, but you’ll be missed because, well, you’re Idris Elba.
- Not only did Vision die, he died twice, back-to-back! Our friendly, neighborhood android’s death was telegraphed pretty clearly, so they had to do something to mix it up. Having him nobly sacrifice himself and then reveal it was all in vain was pretty brutal. Now, if only I was invested in Vision as character.
Some characters’ fates are up in the air. I assume The Collector is dead, but it wasn’t really confirmed. All we see of the guy is an illusion that Thanos projects to confuse the Guardians. We don’t know what’s up with Bruce Banner. Last we saw of him, he was trapped in some rocks. Wong exited the movie relatively quickly to guard the sanctum (because I guess that’s a priority when someone is trying to wipe out half the world’s population), and we didn’t see if Shuri made it out. There’s also the question of all Thor’s friends other than Loki and Heimdall. Valkyrie isn’t shown alive or dead, and Korg is similarly absent. That destroyed Asgardian refugee ship really raises a lot of questions.
Never mind, Valkyrie has been spotted. Although, the whereabouts of that goat are still unknown.
I’ll give myself a solid B- when it comes to predictions. It is a bit of a mixed bag with a couple missteps, but there were some soldily good guesses thrown in, too. Now, let’s start speculating about Avengers 4. Thanos is going to retire and become a beet farmer! Howard the Duck is really the key to it all! Steve Rogers is going to make some really regrettable costume choices!