Review: Kingsman: The Golden Circle

It certainly has been a banner year for John Denver’s “Country Roads” in film. It’s been prominently featured in Alien: Covenant, Logan Lucky and most recently, Kingsman: The Golden Circle. (Those last two make me think that maybe, just maybe Channing Tatum has written the song into his contract somewhere. Fingers crossed we get Magic... Continue Reading →

Review: American Assassin

I was actually looking forward to American Assassin. Not because I’m a fan of the books or anything, but because the trailers promised me dumb, action schlock. And boy, was I ready to sign up. One moment in particular spoke volumes to me. Gruff CIA instructor Michael Keaton spins around a laptop, revealing footage of... Continue Reading →

Drunkenness Ascending

Jupiter Ascending is a movie that can only be halfway enjoyed if completely inebriated—except for the scenes with Eddie Redmayne which are enjoyable in all circumstances. To help you get through this tremendously boring, over-the-top, insane piece of shit courtesy of the Wachowskis, we have created a drinking game guaranteed to fuck you up. Instead... Continue Reading →

Review: Mother!

Darren Aronofsky is clearly working some things out in Mother! It is perhaps his most surreal film and undoubtedly his most personal. The writer-director is grappling with concerns about the environment, the nature of creation, the role of religion and man’s relationship with God. It’s some pretty heavy stuff, but it’s also a movie that... Continue Reading →

Review: The Incredible Jessica James

Ever since Lena Dunham’s Girls, there has been a mini-explosion of movies and TV shows about the literal worst twenty-something women (or girls?), and I still can’t figure out how I feel about this. Girls is one of my favorite shows ever, but I’m not entirely sure why. It’s partly because of Adam Driver; he... Continue Reading →

Review: It (2017)

I think a lot of people in their thirties and twenties have an interesting relationship with Stephen King’s It. We saw the miniseries from 1990 too young to realize it was crappy, and since the best part was with the kids, we connected with it.

Review: Death Note (2017)

The Netflix Death Note film isn't very good. By now, most anyone who cares knows this, but I figured I'd offer my two cents. I realize I've been throwing around the phrase “dumpster fire” a lot recently.

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